Thursday, January 10, 2013

Michael's birth story rough draft

Friday November 11th was when I first started to notice that something didn’t feel right. We we’re at my in-laws house getting the baby shower invitations put together and my mom had also come over to help. I was excited for Michael to start moving around so they could feel him. I was feeling little hiccup like movements so I told my mom and Liz to come over but they didn’t last long enough. A few days before I was sitting on the couch and everyone could see him rolling from one side to another. He had just started to make big movements that everyone could see. The next morning I still hadn’t felt Michael move around much. He was pretty consistent in the early morning and at the end of the night when I was relaxing. So after I hadn’t felt him that morning was when I really started to worry. Later that afternoon Mike and I were on our way to the movies and I told him that if I didn’t feel anything soon I was going to go in to be checked. After the movie we went over to his parents’ house. Mike went to watch the ufc fights with his dad and brother at a friend’s house and I was going to help Liz finish the invitations. I still had only felt the little hiccups so I thought I better at least call Labor and Delivery to see what they thought. I didn’t want Liz to worry so I snuck off to the back room while she was on the phone with Aunt Tammi. I kept on getting put on hold and transferred around so I hung up when I heard Liz was off of the phone. When I came out of the room she could tell something was wrong. I told her I was fine but she knew something was up. I just started crying and told her that I was worried about him not moving so we decided to just go and not wait for the doctor to call me back. I didn’t want Mike to worry so we didn’t tell him that we were going. I figured I would just be put on a monitor then sent home. Hah! When we first walked through the hospital doors the security guard asked me if I needed a wheel chair. I said no and kind of chuckled thinking “Im not having a baby today, I’m only 27 weeks pregnant! Geez I wonder if I look really big?” It was around 8:00pm when we got to labor and delivery. The nurse brought me to a room and set up the monitors to check the heart beat. The mood in the room was light and the nurse was even telling us some funny stories about deliveries she had witnessed. I don’t remember 100% but I’m pretty sure everything was fine with the heartbeat. I still couldn’t get Michael to move so she thought I might be dehydrated. She decided that I should get some fluids via IV. I asked her if I could please just drink some water. Lol I am terrified of needles and have been known to leave the hospital. Remember that Mom? ;) I told Liz that if it weren’t for Michael I would have been out of there! After a little while the doctor came in with a sonogram machine and took a look. Everything looked fine and there was plenty of fluid. He pushed on my stomach trying to get him to move but couldn’t get him to budge. I instantly felt the mood change in the room. The once cheerful nurse was quiet and I knew something was wrong. The doctor left the room to go talk to another doctor. I asked the nurse what the worst case scenario would be. She said worse case I would deliver that evening. After realizing that things weren’t looking good we decided that I better call Mike and tell him what was going on. I tried to stay calm and told him that I was just being monitored but he should come to the hospital. He was coming from Occidental and I didn’t want him to drive crazy to get there. From what I hear that didn’t work. After I got off of the phone with Mike I got up to use the restroom. When I came out Mike and Tony had just gotten there and the doctor was in the room. Everyone’s faces were white. I caught the tail end of the doctor telling them that we were going in for an emergency C-section. I heard him but it hadn’t processed so I asked the doctor what was going on. He said that they didn’t know why the baby wasn’t moving and he needed to be delivered now. They were calling in the neonatal team and I would be going into surgery as soon as I was prepped. I’m not sure that anyone had time to process what was going on. Liz called my parents and told them what was going on. I just started balling as I was being prepped and Mike was putting on his scrubs. I had no idea what was going to happen. I remember just being so scared that my baby wasn’t going to live. It all happened so fast I didn’t have much time to think about it. I was brought into the OR while Mike waited outside. There were soo many doctors in this big white bright room. I sat on edge of the table? While the sweetest nurse held onto me and just let me cry into her shoulder. I remember being terrified to get the spinal and my whole body being tense. I asked her if it would be worse if I didn’t relax and she told me that it probably would. I don’t know how I did it but I managed to relax my body while they did the spinal. The only pain I felt was a little burning like a bee sting. As soon as it was done I layed down and I could feel it starting to work. It felt like my legs were cups being filled up with warm water. I tried to move them but they were completely paralyzed. The anesthesiologist was by my head on the right side. He had asked me some questions and all I remember was agreeing on waiting on something to calm my nerves until Michael was out. I wish I remembered his name.. Mike was brought into the room and the surgery had already been started. I was so happy to have him with me. That’s a scary place to be by yourself. It was only a few minutes later that Michael was born at 12:11 am on November 13th 2011. He weighed 2 lbs 10.7ozs. Mike didn’t watch him being taken out of me but went over with him as soon as he was out. That anesthesiologist was my saving grace at this point. I started having a hard time breathing and told him that it was time for those meds! He was so nice and kept talking to me trying to keep me occupied with conversation. I have never felt more helpless than in that moment. My baby was across the room and I was stuck on that operating table. I just wanted to see him and know that everything was ok. The NICU team was busy trying to get Michael stabilized as he was not breathing on his own. Mike said that when he came out he was completely white and not moving but as soon as they gave him the blood transfusion he opened his eyes and started to move a little bit. When he was born he had barely any blood left in his tiny little body. While my surgery was being finished they took Michael to the NICU and I told Mike to go with him. Poor Mike didn’t know what to do. I tried so hard to see Michael as they took him away but all I could see was the isolette. When my surgery was finished they took me to the recovery room. I learned later on that they tried to take me by to see Michael but they were still trying to get him stabilized. I can’t imagine what Mike was feeling watching all of this. While in recovery they told me that once he was stabilized enough that he would be transferred by ambulance to Kaiser in San Francisco as they were only a level II nursery and were not equipped to take care of a baby as young as Michael. They told me that they would bring him by so I could see him before they left. I was so beyond exhausted but refused to close my eyes in fear that I would miss seeing him. My whole body was so itchy from the spinal. By this time both of our families were in the waiting room. While in recovery only Mike was allowed to be with me. So he was back and forth between me and Michael. Luckily his brother Tony was able to be with him in the NICU. Finally at 6am (6 hours after surgery) the transfer team brought Michael in so I could see him. He was so tiny and had wires and tubes everywhere. I remember just being completely numb. I couldn’t believe that was my baby. When they took Michael to the ambulance they wheeled me out behind him to a different room. They took us through where our parents were waiting and they were able to see Michael too. Everything from there is a little blurry. As soon as we were in the room Mike and I we’re able to get some of sleep before they transferred me to SF to be with Michael. Mikes dad had stayed in the waiting room while we slept and everyone else had gone home to try and get some sleep too. At 1pm I was taken by ambulance to Kaiser in San Francisco. Mike and his dad followed behind but stopped at our house to pick up some clothes and other stuff we needed. When I arrived in SF the nurses tried to make me transfer to the other bed by myself. I told them that I had not tried to walk yet and that I was still numb. They still tried to push for it but the EMTs told them no and lifted me off of the gurney onto the bed. There are so many nurses, doctors EMTs etc. that I wish I could thank personally. They were such a huge comfort to me during those very scary first few hours. When the EMTs left the nurse went to go check my charts and left me in there by myself for what felt like forever. It was 30-45 minutes before another nurse came. I still had no idea what was going on with Michael. Not too much later Mike and everyone else got there. There were a lot of nurses and doctors in and out of the room after we arrived. I had to have my blood drawn numerous times. At the time I had no idea what was really going on but I had a fetal maternal hemorrhage. We don’t have any answers as to how or why this happened. Fetal-maternal hemorrhage is the loss of fetal blood cells into the maternal circulation. It takes place in normal pregnancies as well as when there are obstetric or trauma related complications to pregnancy. Normally the maternal circulation and the fetal circulation are kept from direct contact with each other, with gas and nutrient exchange taking place across a membrane in the placenta made of two layers, the syncytiotrophoblast and the cytotrophoblast. Foetal-maternal hemorrhage occurs when this membrane ceases to function as a barrier and fetal cells may come in contact with and enter the maternal vessels in the decidua/endometrium. It is estimated that less than 1 mL of foetal blood is lost to the maternal circulation during normal labour in around 96% of normal deliveries.[1][2] The loss of this small amount of blood may however be a sensitizing event and stimulate antibody production to the foetal red blood cells, and example of which is Rhesus disease of the newborn. Abnormal Pregnancy Causes of increased foetal-maternal hemorrhage are seen as a result of trauma, placental abruption or may be spontaneous with no cause found. Up to 30 mL of foetal-maternal transfusion may take place with no significant signs or symptoms seen in either mother or fetus.[3] Loss in excess of this may result in significant morbidity and mortality to the fetus. Foetal-maternal hemorrhage is one cause of intrauterine death (IUD). A few hours later we were settled in and I was able to get up and try to walk. I was also able to go see Michael. Those first few days are such a blur that I really don’t remember much of what went on. Michaels NICU stay details to follow